AHHHHH!!!

Is not what came out of my mouth when I decided to leave the safety of the ledge 143 metres above the ground. Instead it sounded more like "ah_______________" I started to scream once I realized I no longer had firmness under my feet, but as soon as I looked down and saw the Nevis river rushing at me nothing else would come out. Not a peep... I dont even know how best to describe the experience I had today. We arrived an hour before the bus to the jump left, so you had plenty of time to pace around and fidget, and wonder what was wrong for you for signing up for this. Then once on the bus you had another 45 minutes to talk yourself out of it, while trying to pump yourself up. The music on the bus was all intense and suspensful too which was funny. 20 young adults sat nearly in silence on the trip out there...the air was a buzz with nerves...I had to laugh when I heard the driver say into the CB I have 20 jumpers on board this afternoon...it reminded me of people standing on a ledge ready to end it all. The people behind me were talking right before we started the drive aout if they were excited or not, and one girl says oh we're here for my mates birthday jump...I turned around and said me too! SO we had a little bonding. The guy next to them was like so you are making a clear definate age of death then, a nice clean date on the tombstone. Death by Nevis the girl said, put that on my gravestone! So we get there and they harness you up and then weigh you in your gear...heaviest person jumps first. JoAnna and I were the last to go. I dont know if I preferred that... We watched 18 people jump before they strapped our feet up. As it got closer and closer to our weight class "super light weight" I began to shake. I cant do this...I cant do this... My legs were numb but I kept watching people jump off the ledge and not one of them hesitated after the guy said go. I could not be the first one to hesitate. Finally it was my turn and by this point the only people left in the cable car were Me, Jo, Eddie and some other spanish guy. Everyone else had jumped and was back on the safe ground while we still hovered over the gorge on a cable wire. They sat me down on a chair while he strapped on the bungee to my feet straps and my chest strap. After 2 bounces I was to pull the cord by my feet which would turn me back up right (or I could be raised back to the cable car upside down). My stomach was in knots. I still didnt think I could do it. I had to penguin wobble out to the ledge because my feet were strapped together...and this was the worst part...inching your way out so your toes were over the edge. I didnt want to look down too soon before I jumped, but if I didnt look I might accidently inch myself right into a plummet. The the guy says youre going to feel a little weight on your ankles as he throws your bungy over the edge...I thought I was going to go right with it. I stood there maybe 4 seconds in total. I got to the edge and stared at the cliff in front of me...for a split second thinking I would just scream NO and throw myself backwards onto the ground. The guy says ok 3 2 1 jump. And I did. Just like that...I knew I couldnt hesitate, I just had to do it. And like I said the first second when you realize you did it you scream...then you look down and youre in a free fall (I think ours was about 8 seconds) and you cant do anything. The feeling...youre just falling...face first...but it didnt even feel the fast...like I was floating down...I thought it would be hard to keep my eyes open but it wasnt...the river just kept getting closer and I could taste my heart in the back of my throat (quite possibly the reason no soind would come out)...then you slowly begin to decrease speed....theres a slight pause and then youre rushing back up into the air...you pause for a bit....then youre hurtling back towards the river just as fast as the first jump...I think I screamed again at this point...then you are going back up and you feel yourself getting lighter so you bend up and pull the cord and are jolted upright. I sat there swinging around in the canyon in a bit of awe...I couldnt believe that just happened to me! Anyone that really knows me will atest to the fact that I will stand for 10 minutes on the side of small bridge before jumping into a river! (haha remember gaspereau Emily?) Once you are upright you have a little more time to enjoy the view, which really was amazing. I think if anyone is going to bungy jump this is the one to do! Jo said she was researching it and this jump is labelled the 2nd most extreme sport activity IN THE WORLD...out of anything! We drove past another bungy on the way home and it just didnt look like it would be as good after the one we did...8 seconds is a long time to watch the world rushing at your face! I was pulled back onto the platform shaking slightly while Jo sat in the chair getting harnessed up. That was the only hinderance to our day...because we were back to back it made pictures and videography difficult as Eddie had to capture the day for us both. JoANna somehow managed to scream the whole way down...I dont knwo how the sound squeezed out past her heart. When you get back on the ground they show you your jump that they videoed for you...and you experience a little of the rush all over...theres nothing like watching YOURSELF leap off a ledge over a gorge! I loved it. I really loved it. Theres something to be said about scaring the crap out of yourself. But I really did feel safe as I fell...maybe something to do with the tightness around my ankles haha. When we got back to Queenstown we went out to a buffet for my birthday...which was subpar so the pressure is on back home! Tonight we plan on having some drinks and then perhaps checking out the night life in the Q-town. 26...I should go to the bathroom and check for wrinkles...or hopefully jumping face first into a canyon smoothes those right out! 4 more days in the NZ...eep! Thanks to everyone who sent birthday wishes I love and miss you all!